Jocelyn Thio - Week 1: Underneath the Waves

A view of the ocean similar to the one I saw
(Photo credit: Bay Area Telegraph - Thomas Smith)

The sun barely makes it through the clouds. The breeze blows through my hair. My brother and I carefully walk in the sand, with our sneakers still on, and take in the view of the ocean. We are in Half Moon Bay, our parents stand on the trail with our bikes and take a break. I look towards the horizon where the sky touches the sea. Even though it is a rather chilly day, the ocean is still beautiful. Like the ocean, our identity has a public surface and layers that get much less light the deeper you go.

Most of my time I spend in school or in other public spaces. On the surface, I project a version of my identity to teachers and classmates. Personally, this changes frequently depending on my mood, just like the weather changes how the ocean looks on top. Underneath this, there is a deeper layer. This is my identity as it is shown to my close friends and family. Light reaches this layer when I am relaxing at home, laughing with my school friends, dancing at the studio, or building with my robotics team. I show more of my true self and it is more stable than the surface level. Much deeper down is my core identity. This often comes out when I am alone at home. It stores my private thoughts and is not usually shared so it is untouched by the outside world, like the deepest layer of the ocean. Around the right people, I notice that I start to show light on the deeper layers.

Shifting your personality and habits based on your environment or around the people you are with is not being fake or inauthentic to your identity. Simply, different people are just experiencing different parts of your identity and together they make you whole. 

Experiencing the different layers is also one of my favorite things to observe while meeting new people and creating friendships. It is really beautiful to see someone showing more and more of their deeper self and sharing a sense of comfort and belonging with them. The more people show, the more vulnerable they can be, so I always feel really honored when someone opens up to me in that way. It is a reminder that you cannot see the true depth of the ocean just by standing at the beach.